Love Listens

I am learning so much about love, what it is, what it's not, and how much I don't understand the love that God intended us to have with someone. I thought that I understood what it was to love someone, sure it's like the movies right? You have butterflies when you're around them, just the sight of them sends your heart pounding, just hearing their voice makes it all better, isn't that the signs of love? Or is that what I have made love become just feelings, but.....can't those change? So I have immersed myself in studying the " Love Dare" and it's been so eye opening and something I was studying really touched me, "Love Listens"

Now many of you who have known me for years, or some of you I have just met in the last few years know that I am loud, energetic, always on the go, but sometimes I have a hard time listening to others. This verse impressed my heart, really stop and just read it and even place your name in the front of the verse.

" Understand this: everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger." James 1:19

I started to think about the relationships in my life with my family, friends, and my boyfriend I had to ask myself "Ruth, are you slow to anger?" Has there been a time that I responded in a short, angry way, or one that hurt someone I love? Many thoughts came to mind, situations I had faced, and I started thinking could I have handled them differently?

As I started this study I realized that how I respond reflects the condition of my heart. If I am angry because of unmet expectations or their hurtful words, I saw that I responded harshly. If I am to love then I must take time to listen patiently and give the other person consideration even if it is undeserved.

Love must become my motivation, few of us listen patiently and many it does not come naturally. It is however a necessary ingredient in a relationship. I started thinking how I can start to listen more? I thought I was a good listener, but I tend to just hear what I want to hear, and then it's my turn to speak my mind on the issue. So I have come up with a new way to approach it, I will listen patiently, not interrupt them, not talk over them, make sure they have said everything they wanted to share, and before I respond I need to let love lead.

This week I am going to challenge myself to show patience by saying nothing negative to my family, friends, and my boyfriend. It's better to hold my thoughts than to say something I will regret. Show me how to listen, that I may hear what the person is telling me and in my response let it be one of love.

Reminded that : "Love Listens"

"The Love Dare" Day 44

Love Examines the Heart

In studying and learning about what love is and how to love as God loves, has been a humbling experience. I am learning through this study that in order to truly love someone, I have to examine my heart in order to learn how to love unconditionally. This verse stuck out to me "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me me and know my concerns." Psalm 123:23

We choose how we respond in certain situations that occur in our relationships with family, friends, boyfriends etc. I started to think "do I respond in love?" or do I react in ways that hurt my relationship? 

It really made me think about the times I have acted in anger, versus taking the time to think before I speak so that I don't hurt someone that I care about. Acting in anger, is the first sign that we have a heart issue, it sounds weird but I have been thinking about this and how it affects my relationships. 

Here are some questions that you should ask yourself. Am I being selfish when I act out in anger? Would God be disappointed in the way I handled the situation? Is there something that from the past making me angry or upset that I already promised to forgive? By asking these questions I started to see that I am getting upset sometimes for no reason or I am bringing up things from the past. It is sometimes hard to examine yourself and see things that you might be doing to your relationships, but I am learning that in order for me to love others I must look at my heart and how I react to others. 

Consider the reason that is given why we should stop complaining and start a self examination instead.

Lamentations 3:39-40

Why should the living complain
   when punished for their sins?
 Let us examine our ways and test them,
   and let us return to the LORD.

May I learn to react in a way that always shows Your love,  show me Your ways that I may love as You love.