Breaking Free- A journey to FREEDOM Part 1

I wanted to share this experience that has transformed my life , I just completed the book by Beth Moore titled " Breaking Free". It was the most amazing book and I recommend it to anyone who wants to really experience being "Free", I know that it may sound strange because you think" I am free", are you really "free"? but really are you? Do you hold onto things in your past, have you really given every portion of your life to Him? I want to share this with you in a 9 part series because I believe every step is crucial to learning how to be Free. I will reference to what the book taught me and provide my life experiences along with it, I want to share how I was set free.

I began this journey a year and a half ago first when I moved to Houston and then when I moved to the Pacific Northwest last year and I felt God calling to me to seek Him for everything, something I wasn't always doing. Houston was my "desert" I felt I was just wandering aimlessly trying to find my place and what God really wanted from me. I was searching in so many places but never finding what I was looking for. Desperately wanting to know what my life held and wanting to find that happiness I was searching for. I looked in all the wrong places and i could always here this small voice inside of me " stop looking for it, I am here I have always been here. seek me and you will find peace".

I would hold onto portions of my life and rationalize " i know best, so here's this portion God but I can't possibly give you the relationship piece I know what I need" funny right I thought I knew best? versus giving it all to Him. Little did I know that God would be showing me His plan for my life and the one key lesson I had to learn was to let go and get out of the captivity I was in, in order for Him to truly set me Free.

I was the worst kind of captive, I was a prisoner unaware. The kind of prisoner that was so vulnerable to anything and everything, and I had no clue. I wasn't free I was in this bondage that I was so blind to. Through this journey I had to learn that it wasn't going to just change overnight I had to put the work in, and I had to also allow God to work in me in order to make me new.  


Many of you may be struggling and I do too daily, but I wanted to share this learning I experienced through this book by Beth Moore "Breaking Free". 
 
I love this verse 2 Chronicles 32:17 
" In your love you kept me, from the pit of destruction" (v17) 

I learned that His love is constant no matter what, we have the  tendency to forget what God has done for us. What he brought us out of, when things aren't going our way. We start to complain, and ask why? How can we be so quick to forget all His goodness to us? I struggled with this the most in my journey. I had to learn to become humble and that involves discomfort because I wasn't used to it. I had to learn  some hard lessons and also experience failure. Countless times I failed and I knew I had to be set free in order to live life abundantly. 

There are 3 key things that Beth Moore talks about in this first lesson:

• He came to set the captive free- no matter what binds them.

• He came to heal the brokenhearted- no matter what has broken your heart.

•  He came to open the eyes of the blind- no matter what blinded their eyes.

These I hold onto because I was all 3: captive, brokenhearted, and blind. I was living a life that had no purpose, direction, and I was so lost. This journey wasn't easy because I had to finally be honest with myself and look at what my life had become and how did I get so far away. "How did I get here" was a question I found myself asking over and over. 

 This is a journey you have to be willing to take, and one that you give complete surrender. I can say that this study "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore has changed my life forever. My prayer is that you too will be encouraged and if you are ready to be set free I pray that you will seek Him with all your heart.

I want to leave you with this verse: " You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "and my servant in who I have chose, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He."
(Isaiah 43:10)

 

In the end It brought Me to You

  I was thinking about how do we learn to let someone in? We have all loved and lost and we know how deep the pain can go and why try again?  I am sure we have all had these thoughts and have at one time or another made excuses on why we choose to not let someone in. I have struggled with this for sometime, and many times I was trying to find love, because we all just want to be loved by someone, to feel needed by someone else. 


I had to first, learn to love myself and let go of the hurts and pains from the past because I can't move forward if I keep looking in the past. This was the hardest lesson for me to learn because so many memories from the past I would hold onto and ask questions why? I was living in the past and life was still moving forward.....but I was stuck not realizing that I wasn't living my life. I was literally stuck in the past, and I felt broken like I had nothing more to give, I had given my all to someone and they had hurt me but I was still holding onto the past.


 I started living again.....It was a year ago that I got reconnected with my friend Jay, and we would spend countless hours on the phone, laughing about the good ole times and just building our friendship. Every day was a new adventure, I learned so much about him daily and we always had plenty to talk about , we both shared our life stories with one another the good and the bad that we have been through. 


Many months had passed and our friendship was growing day by day, and I started to just pray about Jay and I, the relationship we had that if it was to grow into something more that some how it would. He is someone I could be myself with, the real "me", each day we shared I cherished, not only was he a great friend, I was starting to have feelings for him.

In the end all the hurt, and pain was worth it, because it brought me to you .Our friendship has grown into the most amazing relationship I have ever been in. I have the one who I can share all my hopes and dreams with, the one who is always by my side even though we are miles apart. I can honestly say for the first time in my life I am truly happy and content. He's an amazing man and I am so blessed to have him in my life, I look forward to the many memories we will share. Only time will tell where this will bring us  but I know that there is no other place I would rather be than with him. 


Thank you Jay for being the amazing person you are and know that you have my heart. Who would of known that we would be together, but through it all we were brought together and I couldn't ask for more.

This is my favorite poem and It is dedicated to my sweetheart Jay Rodriguez

i carry your heart with me 

by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Introducing Baby Lily

On  Monday Sept 6th at 4:58pm we welcomed Lily Aaliyah De Luna into the world. How we have waited and prayed for you for as we awaited your birth, you have now changed our lives forever and I am so happy you're here. You're a gift from God and my prayer for you Lily is that you see the love that your mom and dad have for you and for you to know we all love you.

I am so excited to be your Aunt and I look forward to watching you grow up and the best part teaching you the art of "shopping" im sure your dad will thank me for that. Looking forward to seeing you grow, say your first words, and learn how to crawl all these moments will be so special. Thankful for you and know that I love you . Amazing how you can love someone so much you just met,

                                        Love you,
                                      Aunt Ruthie

Babies Prayer

I lay here getting ready for bed tonight.

I call for Mom and Dad with all my might.

I am afraid because the world is so new.

Here comes Mom and Dad they look tired to.

 

The world is new and so much to see.

Tomorrow is another day of learning for me.

Today I cried but not due to pain.

I heard my first storm and saw my first rain.

 

My mom would hold me and tell me it’s Ok

Dad would rock me to sleep at the end of each day.

Watch over them as you do over me.

I love my Mom and Dad, as you can see.

 

I know I am new but I have one thing to ask.

Nothing real big just one small task.

Watch over my Mommy and Daddy to.

There all I have accept for you.

 

By: Jim Organ

Learning How to Let Go

Last week I lost my grandmother De Luna, and i've never lost anyone close to me and dealing with the pain and seeing my family hurt during this time was hard to see. How do you let someone go that you love so much? You start to think did I say everything I needed to say, how many times did I miss the family trips to visit, and then you see in a moment you have lost someone so dear to you and you just ask "why?" How can someone we love so much be taken away? My grandmother was the one who just always showed us all love and always so caring and giving all that she can to her family, never asking for anything in return. 

 

She showed us unconditional love and her smile made it all better. As the week went on I was surrounded by my family and I could see the love that we all had for her and also countless stories of remember when Grandma De Luna cooked for us, corrected  us, and just always loved us no matter what.

 

I was a witness to a true love story between her and my  grandfather 70 years together and seeing that he stood by her side till the very end. Its amazing to see how two people fell in love and stood by one another and their love for one another was so pure and true. I can only imagine of what kind of love can be but I hope that one day I will be blessed with a love like that. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa De Luna for all the love you have shown the family and for showing us what love is.

I am still learning how to let go and I know that God will continue to comfort me, I know you are in a better place and I know that I will see you again, that's the hope I hold onto. I am so blessed to be a part of this family and to have had an amazing grandmother, I love you and you will be missed but know this isn't goodbye I will see you soon.

This poem has helped me deal with the loss and I wanted to share it.

I'M FREE
 
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God has laid you see.
I took his hand when I heard his call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found the peace at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joys-
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Oh yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your hearts, and peace to thee-
God wanted me now, he set me free.